Saturday, August 27, 2005
dealing in a hard time and focusing on Jesus
` I went to the game and it was not all that fun to be honest. I guess I still have issues with Erin. I ruined my talk with her. It just is not a good thing to want to befriend her in my life and it never will be. It is not that I am a bad person it is that I was not made to be her friend. God made people in life to do things for people. I am a friend of Dan because he is a nice guy and I am to. God made him and I friends. I guess the main thing is the guy gal thing and I really like her more than she likes me. I guess I threw in the God thing and really made her not want to be close. God has placed me where I am for his purpose and the people he has for me are in the here and now. God wants me to focus on life in the here and now and not in the where I want to be or where I wish I would be or could be. Jesus is not the focus when I make a idol out of a person. I guess the Lord needs me to live for him and not for others. It has to be Gods way and his way is the only way. I think that when I fail to live for him alone I am failing in my growth. It is hard to say but a man ought to help a man in the fait2h because God wants me to worship him and not a person.
Why do I even worry about this? I mean it is going to be temporal and we are going to be in heaven where needs are going to be met and friends can be friends forever. I guess that is where this friendship will be what it is going to be perfect. I love the fact that life will be without struggle and emotions will be made to be filled by Jesus. Heaven will be where the forgiveness I want will be and all will be right. But now it is not that IU am not a friend of her but the struggle makes it so that I just need to find ways that are healthy to meet my needs and my lord Jesus is the one that knows the heart and feels the pain. If he does not think this is righteous seeking then I think it ought not be soak. God wants me to live for him and grow out of this and please him in this area. He is there for me and welcomes my pain and I want to take it right to him and let him do the work that I need done to feel better and serve him in this area. It is a fact Erin wants the best for me and if that means she does not take times in a friendship it is a good thing because Jesus wants to fill that need and be there for me and that is how it ought to be. Jesus is the one I need to focus on and spend my time thinking about and not a person that is far and unhealthy for me.
Lord I hurt some because I want something that cannot make me like you. Jesus I ask you to fill my needs and help me to look for you and your love in this. Love is what I am craving and Jesus you love me and proved it by putting me before you. Lord help me to be a man that is going to grow and look more at you and not for a place where I am leaning on people you made. Lord help me to fill my needs and Lord fill my needs in Jesus and help me put him where he is able to forgive and meet me. Draw me close in this Lord and help me to be a stronger man for you and live close to Jesus because that is the goal of life. Lord I look for you to grow me inv Jesus I love you amen
Why do I even worry about this? I mean it is going to be temporal and we are going to be in heaven where needs are going to be met and friends can be friends forever. I guess that is where this friendship will be what it is going to be perfect. I love the fact that life will be without struggle and emotions will be made to be filled by Jesus. Heaven will be where the forgiveness I want will be and all will be right. But now it is not that IU am not a friend of her but the struggle makes it so that I just need to find ways that are healthy to meet my needs and my lord Jesus is the one that knows the heart and feels the pain. If he does not think this is righteous seeking then I think it ought not be soak. God wants me to live for him and grow out of this and please him in this area. He is there for me and welcomes my pain and I want to take it right to him and let him do the work that I need done to feel better and serve him in this area. It is a fact Erin wants the best for me and if that means she does not take times in a friendship it is a good thing because Jesus wants to fill that need and be there for me and that is how it ought to be. Jesus is the one I need to focus on and spend my time thinking about and not a person that is far and unhealthy for me.
Lord I hurt some because I want something that cannot make me like you. Jesus I ask you to fill my needs and help me to look for you and your love in this. Love is what I am craving and Jesus you love me and proved it by putting me before you. Lord help me to be a man that is going to grow and look more at you and not for a place where I am leaning on people you made. Lord help me to fill my needs and Lord fill my needs in Jesus and help me put him where he is able to forgive and meet me. Draw me close in this Lord and help me to be a stronger man for you and live close to Jesus because that is the goal of life. Lord I look for you to grow me inv Jesus I love you amen
